Pairing Your Outfit And Perfume For The Gym

Preface,

For those of us who are busy, or love being a critic, the perfume advice is humor, though ultimately real advice for lads.

Whom I know will be reading this, because of the title, use hand sanitizer instead of a scented product that carries 30 feet downwind.

The fashion advice is real, and a great wisdom, for me, and hopefully for you as well.

If all you want is abs or to lose weight, you are likely to fail, “just” is not enough, aim for nothing short of, true beauty.

And the workout advice, though somewhat skimpy, is important.

Because for a workout to really work out, it must be a non-stop, full body exercise weighted down with dumbbells.

While most ladies want to blend in, and avoid perfume, that is not always a good idea.

A lot of the bros, use a “Dad“ deodorant before a workout.

And a neatly smelling lady can totally, turn things around.

Heavy vanilla can be overwhelming at first, but it is not that bad.

And unfortunately, the only other chose, are the cedar wood based sniffs.

But those are really hard to get right, as they have to be in the neutral area.

And they are often, just mixed in with something else.

As to the outfit, you can’t dress sporty, or calm, a hard gym workout demands superhero wear.

The outfit, is a serious issue, that demands serious consideration.

While a gym is a place of beauty, it is also a war zone where a wrestling singlet fits well.

Unlike yoga gear, and similar, you can create a custom design for a singlet.

They use a dye sublimation technique, and the colors are spectacular.

Fundamentally, you dress for battle, you never dress to hide.

And you never stop moving, your workout has to match your outfit.

I’ve seen a lady perform an a solid American football workout, it was fierce, about advancing forward, and stretching.

She never returned, but the impression she made, with all the lunges and dedication still stands.

The problem here is shyness, and I have developed, and I have developed an extraordinarily questionable technique.

To address, just that.

Your reputation, for being a fine upstanding and serious lady, needs to go, but in the most wonderful of ways.

Just about two months before every Halloween, I modify my weight belt, with a dollar store paper-towel stand.

And attach fluffy and enormous, two foot long tail, this last Halloween it was huge, and I taught myself how to wag it.

You have to gently bend one leg after another, at the knee to rotate your rear slightly.

I am not sure how it works exactly, but you shyness goes away for a few months.

Which is all you need, to get used to your super heroine outfit and a fierce workout.

An actual example of powerful and complex, advancing workout, I find, is “the 300 workout”, but all it really is is HIIT.

Which stands for High-intensity interval training, whichever one you pick, you have to keep moving your feet.

And you need light dumbbells, a good guiding principle here.

Is a workout, that terrifies all the “bodybuilders”, especially if you choose to wear a tail, to deal with shyness.

Personally, I try to twist and turn with dumbbells, I am working out with 20lb per hand, so my motion is now limited.

Inertial forces of 20lb per hand, are just too annoying.

But if you have a dance floor, try shuffle dancing, also with light dumbbells.

Not so light, that you can handle more, but no so heavy, that they force you to stop.

And music also give you dance trance, so as long as you hit every beat – so time passes fast.

Sitting, is very bad, muscle isolation destroys your workouts, the racks and cages can only slow you down.

Muscle is how we move, to build muscle, to be fit, to be able to take a fall without hurting.

You need a full body workout, which is non stop, as you move between muscle groups.

And relies on dumbbells, don’t lift too heavy, you don’t need to keep growing muscles.

10 or 15 pounds per hand for an hour, may just be where you find that you don’t want bigger muscle.

Other than that, a gym will give you a safe environment, where the maximum number of people staring at you, with you tail on.

Is limited to a fraction of the people, that sow up for the gym that hour.

While jogging on the street tail or no tail, is a lot cooler, it is not a fitness environment.

And no one will correct the behavior, of people that have no manners.

Which brings us to the end, where I mention, that one of the funniest things that has happened to me.

Happened, because of my early Halloween costume.

Already having earned some muscles through my non-stop workouts, and gathered enough courage, to put on my tail, a month early.

I was waddling to my gym, crossing the street, and the mailman, probably retired military, noticed me.

I probably reminded him that he always wanted to get back in shape, and he really needs to sign up for the gym.

At which point I made a slight turn towards the door, and my darn tail came into his view.

The poor man, paused, and muttered, “What the f&*^”.

And for many, many, days after that, and to this day as I think about it.

I speak his words out loud, and laugh.

And I will continue laughing at my strange way to deal with slyness.

Until well, into the future.

Lastly, remember, a gym is not a bout losing weight, or getting into shape, it is about your beauty, you are going all the way out there.

As the full way, is the only way, that guarantees your success.

So go all the way, and don’t stop when you get here.

Whether you like to hear it or not, you are not a worker, not even a mere human.

You are a creature of the stars, and your humanity demands that you rise to become a great being.

And that can only be a journey, that starts with a smile – the simplest, of the most powerful within us.