Latest Medical Research Breakthrough Reveals That People Become Fancier When They Wear A Tail

In a great tragedy 25 million years ago,
researches reveals we have lost our tails to great woe.

Today we can make or buy a tail at a very low cost,
and thus not all has been lost.

Living 25 million years without a tail was very tough,
but today me must say we've had, enough.

Though the researchers are still working out details,
it turns out that we become a little bit sad without our tails.

However once we start wearing a tail,
we become more flexible and many stop being frail.

The leading scientist Dr. Meow explains:
"Our tails were connected to our brains".

In deed simulations prove that we used to walk gracefully and nobly,
and that today we're all just a little bit wobbly.

The good Doctor has proven several times over,
that without a tail it is even a bad idea to bend over.

As many people never recover from bending down,
and have to get out of town.

But perhaps the most wonderful and scientifically proven fact,
is that having a tail increases kindness, smiles, and eye contact.

In a word, those whose tails are puffy,
will never act stuffy.

In laboratories tails have become such a success somehow,
that scientists stopped saying "Wow", and now say "Meow!

Furthermore, research shows that those tho wear a tail,
are always successful and never fail.

In deed "We are very successful" scientist say,
"everyone with a tail is making headway".

It turns out even an amateur,
can finish a ground breaking project with a purr.

It has always been a great mystery,
why the cat have been celebrated throughout history.

It turned out Witches, Kings of the jungle, gods in Egypt, and doodles everywhere,
were only trying to make us aware.

That we must all wear a tail as fluffy as it gets,
as it will help us get through life without any regrets.

Already several nations have instituted what has been called The Fancy Laws,
get a tail and consider getting mittens that look like paws.

And in England, in a speech given by none other than the Queen,
it has been declared that "Everyday is now Halloween".